Power Washers and Public Restrooms

I felt the need to write a little something from work tonight. A couple of reasons for that… first, I experienced something a little disturbing; second, I needed to cleanse the mental palate and take a small break from the mundane tasks of the evening.

Public restrooms are uniquely special places…..filled with their own sights, sounds, smells and in some cases tastes. The office restroom that I use is a 3-hole’r…the break-down is two urinals and one stall. It’s recently been updated to include hands free sinks (times two), electronic hands free soap dispensers, towel dispensers and of course the hands free A-U-T-O-M-A-T-I-C flush.

The automatic flush seems…..on the surface, to be a great invention. No more touching the nasty germ/shit infested shitter handle, kids will have a tougher time flooding restrooms and maybe in the greater scheme of things less use of water. I’m not sure if there is a sensitivity setting that can be adjusted or if perhaps I was being “punk’d.” In the five minutes I was utilizing the stall the toilet flushed itself 12 times. If I leaned forward…..flush, if I twisted…….flush, if I coughed…..flush, if I inhaled to deeply…..flush, if I winked my left eye…..flush, if I farted…..flush, if I barked like a dog…..flush, if I waved my hand in front of my nose…..flush, if I completed a little paperwork…..flush. Which would have been fine; I prefer to max out my carbon footprint, fuck my great, great, great grandkids I’m sure they’ll all be failures anyway. No, the disturbing part was the fact that this particular toilet apparently has the soul of a power washer. With every flush I got bathed in two gallons of nasty.